I. Growing Up

Growing up won't bring us down, or at least that's what The Maine seems to tell me. A lot of growing up has happened since my March blog post. I had to prepare to take my four A.P. tests, which seriously stressed me out. I had to get senior pictures taken, graduation announcements sent out, and my grades in order so that I could graduate on June 1st. I had to start a legitimate, adult job (which I will elaborate on in a later post). I had to learn who my real friends were, and who was going to be there for me. Last but not least, I have had to start preparing for college....WEIRD. And I have to say, I was really proud of myself at the end of high school. Ever since 7th grade, I had one solid goal: graduate high school with a 4.0. And guess what? I did it. Now, I don't want to toot my own horn at ALL, so don't get the wrong idea. I was really proud of myself. It feels really good to accomplish something that requires a LOT of work...so I was proud. The end. On another note, I was really stressed about my A.P. tests. Like...really stressed. I know there are a ton of people who took more than 4...so I have really no room to talk, but it was gratifying to open the envelope two weeks ago and realize that studying...and LOTS OF PRAYING...paid off. Yay. Soooooooooo, long story short, I graduated and am now in transition between high school and the cold, cruel...well....cold but hopefully not so cruel...world of USU. I'm excited, to say the least.

I have a blog.

I seem to have forgotten over the past four months how true that statement is. I have one, so I should proooooobably start using it...seeing how I'm leaving for USU in UNDER A MONTH. Whaaaaaa? Well, so much has happened in the past few months that I'm going to split this blog post up into many little parts...like how it should be...if I kept up on it. :/ Stay tuned.

Welp.

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAOSDIHFAPOINEKLTHLKNGISHDHNGLIPEINTSLIEKHT.

Well, I don't really don't have much to say. I should, but I don't.

Life's sick, can't complain. Mr. Dart is tonight. (!!!!!) It's going to be LEGITIMATE.

The sun is out and I love it. Listening to Parachute in the sunshine? SUMMER.

I don't really have much of anything else to say on this blog right now....

so BYE. :)

Blissfully Content or Blissfully Indifferent?

Either way, I'm blissful.

Friday I had the privilege of attending the world's SICKEST concert in the universe. (Yes I know my last post was about a concert. Sue me.)

Anarbor? Filthy mouths. 2/10
Downtown Fiction? Weiiiirrrrdooos. 4/10

We the Kings? All acoustic set? Travis Clark is a funny, funny man? 12/10. Loved every second of it. My favorite line not in the songs from that concert was a quote that when he said it, it just rang true to me.

"It seems like music is the only thing left in this world that makes (bleeping) sense."

Censor it out of course, and I love that, because it's so true. Music has a way of breaking down the walls I set up and calming me down.

Anyway, last but not least, Mayday Parade came on.

It was honestly beautiful. And quite cathartic for me. After the crap sauce week of all crap sauce weeks, it was nice to end on a good note.

You know how some songs have lines in them that when you hear them, no matter how many times you hear them, they just give you the chills because you can RELATE. Or it is just simple lyrical poetry. Mayday Parade has a way with words, I tell you. I loved the concert.

So in other news, I've thought a lot about life lately. When Maddy basically attacked me when We the Kings played "We'll be a Dream" (our friends' song..) it really hit me. No pun intended. HA.

I'm growing up. This time next year...heck, this time next September, all of my friends are gonna be separated basically. It's caused a lot of stress for me, not going to lie, seeing how we all treat each other now. I've gotten worked up lately because it's seemed kinda weird between all of us...but maybe that's just me reading more into things than I should, or just being an idiot. So I'm sorry if I am. That happens. But I have a confidence that everything will work out a-okay.

Know why? I got my patriarchal blessing. That was such a help to me, especially in these last few weeks. I got the printed copy of my blessing the day I got the letter saying that I hadn't made it into the Ambassador program at USU, which I know was a miracle sent from above. That was rough initially, because I had worked SO HARD. However, I now know that it wasn't what I am supposed to do, and I have to move on. It helped me to see that I'm worth it, and my future is bright, as long as I keep striving to be the best me I can be.

And I'm trying. :)

"I'm still dancing along with the way it was."

This post is 7 days overdue. But hooooooollllllyyyyyyy cow.



This concert was DISGUSTING. And by disgusting, I mean so good that I still am getting over how fantastic it was.

The saga starts with a girl named Emi and a girl named Hailee getting in line at approximately 5:20. It woulda been earlier, but Hai got pulled over. HILARIOUS. :)

We're in line, talking about everything and nothing, making fun of the girls who wore matching dresses in front of us ("she wears a white dress..." :/ didn't get it till a few days later...) and chatting it up with some couple from the Y in front of us. Then a kindly caustic man told us that we all need to make a single file line.

We did so.

THEN we proceeded to enter IN THE VENUE.

Blah, blah, blah...waited..opening acts were awesome, especially Tessa Barton music...la, la, la

PARACHUTE. :) :) :)



I seriously died and went to heaven. Every song they played was wonderful. They sound amazing live. AMAZING.

They all look amazing live too. :/

Then, after they sang What I Know, Halfway, Kiss Me Slowly, American Secrets and Ghost, I was extremely happy because they sang all my favorite songs.

And MORE.

Then it was over. I got enough pictures and video to last at least until the next one. I had such a fantastic time, and it was a blast.

Oh, did I mention I got to meet Will?




Check that off the bucket list. :)

Words.

Do you ever look back on words that had seriously no meaning until something funny or memorable happened, and now whenever you hear them it has the power to bring you back? I've realized I have a lot more of those than I thought. Here's a list of some of those words I've recently been thinking about. (I like lists. The end.)

Spork.
Service.
Dorkfish. (don't ask)
Weirdie.
Dr. Smelthy.
Gaydar.
Fat Hair.
Amazing.
Little Frog.
Totes.
LOLz.
Margarine.
Promise.


Petrobras.


:)

Music is Fantastic.

Sometimes, I find a band that I really enjoy. Then other sometimes, one of my best friends shows up at my door and their new song happens to be on a CD that she hands to me. Good gravy.

Music is amazing, and I really like this one. The end. :)

Waiting in the Moment- Take Cover

I see the worry in the eyes of the ones who love me.
I just don't believe that they'd ever fully understand.
So I tend to stutter when I try to explain
the passion and the pressure that's killing me these days.
But I can't walk away. I can't walk away.

Am I waiting for a day that's never coming?
Should I stay right where I am just in case it does?
It doesn't matter how hard you wish or cross your fingers,
if you're not willing to risk it on your dreams.

Was it the words that I didn't say or the fear that gave me away?
I'm going to spell this out for you:
Just because I'm not sitting in a classroom;
just because I'm not working my life away;
just because we're trying to make this happen,
doesn't mean we're not learning everyday.

Am I waiting for a day that's never coming?
Should I stay right where I am just in case it does?
It doesn't matter how hard you wish or cross your fingers,
if you're not willing to risk it on your dreams.

Is this the right path for me?
Well I'd sure like to think so.
We owe it to ourselves to see how far this thing can go.
We've worked to hard to give it up now and all we need to know.
Is that we gave it all we had and we got here on our own.

Am I waiting for a day that's never coming?
Should I stay right where I am just in case it does?
It doesn't matter how hard you wish or cross your fingers,
if you're not willing to risk it on your dreams.

Sometimes, I learn a lot.

Let me just start off by saying that I love these kids. With all my heart. Not all of them are pictured, but Kelsey, Emily, Abby, Bailey, Alec, Kenney, Matt and Preston are the FUNNEST kids you will ever meet. I got to help with a UASC conference today and these kids seriously make me laugh. I love 'em.

But, I learned something today. We had a keynote speaker named Keith Hawkins come to the conference from California. One, he was HILARIOUS. Two, he has a lot of life experiences that he was willing to share. And three, he made this comment, which really touched me.

He goes (talking to all of the state officers plus our two advisors):

"I want you kids to know that I see a faith in you. A knowledge that all of this is just temporary. I love that you guys have this spirit about you that reaches far into a more permanent state. I honestly hope that everyone will be able to share that same faith I see in you one day."

It amazed me that even in this conference of 300ish people, I was able to learn something that hit so close to home like that. I love learning about myself and about being a good example at home, church and anywhere. And that is why I do leadership.

I love to know that an example that I try hard for is seen sometimes. I love knowing that there's a light that we have that is noticed, and I love the privilege of having that spirit when I know there are a lot of people that aren't as lucky.

My Life Is....

For real. But, I'm pluggin along. Gotta love it.

Ummmmmm....a lot has happened since...December 13th...and since Bandy blogs more than me, I have to step it up goshdaneit.
IIIIIII haaavvveeee doooonnnneeee lots of stuff. Like have a FANTASTIC Christmas. I love winter season until Christmas. Then it's time for summer because it's just too cold.
IIIIII loooovvvveeee vintage clothing. Fun fact. So my NYR (New Years RES) is to stop wearing tshirts all the time and wear more...diverse?...outfits. Because I love them.
And because I've bought WAYYYYY to many lace dresses lately. They need to be worn.
IIIIIIIII looooovvvvveeee music.

And guess who's going to the Parachute ANDDDDDDDDD MAYDAY PARADE CONCERT????!?!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH me.
I'm so excited it's not even funny.

Anywho. I had a great break. First semester ended, I got good grades. Yay. And now second semester has started, which I can honestly say I'm not diggin too much right now. I miss my old seminary class like CRAZY. I learned so much from them and it was definitely my favorite one in high school. My new teacher's cool, but my class is silent. Boo. Oh well, life goes on. The rest of my classes will be sick.

Speaking of church, I invited one of my best friends to come with me and he did. It made me feel good that knowing something I've wanted to happen for a while finally did. It helped that President McKay and Bishop Law were the speakers and they never cease to amaze.

I've been really lucky to have good friends. You know who you are, and I heart ya. :)

Ummmmmmmm...I have to post the lyrics of my current favorite song...did I mention I sewed a scarf today? I'm gonna wear it tomorrow. K cool. (It has lace. Shocking? NO. Just had to throw that in.)

....back to the song. Haha. K. It's called Dismantle.Repair. by Anberlin. :)

One last glance from a taxi cab
Images scar my mind
Four weeks've felt like years
Since your full attention was all mine
The night was young and so were we
Talked about life, God, death, and your family
Didn't want any promises,
Just my undivided honesty, and you said

Oh oh, things are gonna change now for the betterOh oh, things are gonna change, oh, they're gonna change

I am the patron saint of lost causes
A fraction of who I once believed (change)
only a matter of time
Opinions I would try and rewrite
If life had background music playing your song
I've got to be honest, I tried to escape you
But the orchestra plays on, and they sang
Oh oh, things are gonna change now for the betterOh oh, things are gonna change

Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you
Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through
Dismantle me down (repair)
You dismantle me
You dismantle me

Give me time to prove
Prove I want the rest of yours (prelude)
Call this a prelude to a lifetime of you
It's not that I hang on every word
I hang myself on what you repeat
It's not that I keep hanging on
I'm never letting go

Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you
Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through
Dismantle me down (repair)
You dismantle me
You dismantle me

Save me from myself
Save me from myself
Help me save me from myself
Save me from myself

Oh oh, things are gonna change now for the better
Oh oh, things are gonna change

Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you
Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through
Dismantle me down (repair)
You dismantle me
You dismantle me


Basically, I've really had to think lately about who and where I am. I'm becoming a better new me, improving on mistakes and making a good name for myself before I head off to college. I'd like to call it a paradigm shift.

So that sums up the past month. I'm continually workin hard and hoping for the best.

I love it. :)